hello

Hi, my name is Christina.

I’ve shied away from writing in this for a little bit, but I’m forcing myself to get back into it. The holidays took a toll on me, as they usually do, due to working in retail. But it wasn’t really only that – I think it was also partly my age. I’m becoming more acutely aware of the fact that I’m far from family and far from friends. So when I’m not living that Insta-worthy life, I find myself craving those relationships more and more. Combine that with the fact that everyone else is making holly jolly memories and you’ve got a sour Christina.

Though it may seem aimless, there are a couple reasons why I wanted to write something, anything.

1. I want to get my real voice on here again. It’s easy to hide behind pretty pictures and awesome clothes and make you think I’m this cool inspiring girl who has everything she wants in life.
2. To let you know that I have pauses and breakdowns too. Everyone is always like “you’re so amazing”, “I don’t know how you do everything you do,” et cetera… and the answer to all those is that at some point, it’s too much. So that’s why I had to just step back from it.
3. Setting resolutions can be done on your own timeline. So while the world rang in the New Year, I was like ummm yeah I’m going to bed. I’ll see you in a month. I do have resolutions, but I kind of always have resolutions for my life. That’s where my drive comes from I guess.

And lastly, is that I’m not giving up. Just like in a diet, sometimes you have a cheat day and that’s okay. It’s hard to change your lifestyle. We’re creatures of habit and routine and comfort. I had a cheat month, haven’t painted anything haven’t done anything to push myself creatively. It felt overwhelming to even try.

That doesn’t mean I failed or that I’m set back in any way. I’m human. I’ve still got the same dreams, the same motivations and while it’s hard to tell, I am excited. In a quiet way I guess. I’m excited to continue growing. I’m excited to continue discovering. I hope you’re still down for following along with me.

Because I feel like I need to be giving you something else, here’s my current studio playlist. Studio meaning my living room couch slash also my car.